It's so tough to blog like before once you found out so many people that you don't expect to come by this place actually do read your posts.
Hard time trying to accept reality. I hate how I treat things lightheartedly, or maybe in another term "I don't care". It's not actually that I don't care, I do, deep down, I really do, just that, I'm a person who never shows my emotions. I can never express myself by a wide margin, causing many people to mistake me for who I am not. Or I'd sometimes wish for the simplest things, and I can make things topsy-turvy just by thinking a little too much. Yes, I do spend too much time in my head. The next minute after I talk to you, I can just stare into space and think, about the littlest and most random things people say. I always thought that there's some hidden agenda. It is always me, has been always me, I'm just too sensitive in a way... Not in terms of feelings but words. There are days when I wish I can just care a little more about how I am feeling. My emotions always clashes. I can't remember when I was sad, I only retrospect when I was unhappy. And the last time I was really smiling through my heart, I have no idea when too. I don't know what my brain stores, it seems empty yet there are always things happening inside of it. It's like a whole new me.
Everyday I wake up in hoping there's something in stored for me. But it's just that glimpse of hope in the morning, after every 7.30am, I realise things are still the same. Daily routines, sick of studying already. I wonder how many more stuffs they can come up for us. It really sucks to have insomnia every now and then. My body is so screwed I cannot do things that I like to. IDK, I need a life, I need the bubbly me again. Crap it's only 8.45.
You may think I've no problems blablabla, but my family is just so fucking screwed. Pray I'll be able to move again? Uncle I miss you a lot come back to Sg soon I need you :(
Take care everyone, I'm falling sick too xxx
